Welcome to 2010
So we have finally arrived, we are in the promised land led here by Moses Jordaan, yes it’s 2010 and the next stop is bucketfuls of milk and honey, viva Las FIFA!
Oh yes, I have already let my house out for R1m a week and someone has hired my Citi Golf at R10,000 a day, apparently Hertz and Avis will have nothing to hire out as they have block bookings from North and South Korea!
I am auctioning my Voyager Miles at R5,000 each, what a bargain and I have already hoarded all food and water required, apparently there will be a short supply of everything in SA from May – August, even sunshine!
Seriously though in the words of Michael Jackson, this is it! I have tickets for the opening night game in Cape Town, France vs Uruguay and between me, the Oz, four kids and my Mum and Dad I am the sole France supporter!Â Well why not, they are great and they kept the Irish out.Â No listen, I had enough family staying this Christmas to last me a decade, so do you think I want half of County Donegal coming back in July, are you crazy?
For June and July, I have rented a 5 metre square plot on Rondebosch Common from an Irish BEE building consortium at R10,000 a day, they have promised to have our tent up in time and everyone is getting so excited!
Back on planet earth, I had to take the Christmas tree down within 12 days of Christmas, as my Mum says it’s bad luck not too. Connor suggested we take it outside, squirt it with lighter fuel and burn it, Liam suggested just burying it. In the end I decided to put it on EBAY for R100,000 as, A Christmas Tree from a house in a town where FIFA football will be played. Sorry I must get off this World Cup money making racket!
One last point about soccer, and I mean this, please try to get to at least one game! Don’t rent your house out and run away, take your children, grandchildren, or pay for your great grandchildren if you are that old, to at least just one game. This event will be amazing and South Africa will make a huge success of it and we will all, (other than a few misery guts) become engrossed and wrapped up in it all, it will be something for us all to remember for the rest of our lives.
One team is bound to steal our hearts, another will become our favourite to win and yet another will be the villain. Until it all kicks off you will not know who at least two of those teams will be!
Roads, buildings, traffic systems, infrastructure and confidence will change forever and the World will see South Africa in a totally new light, a light that will also smash the perception of crime, the perception the world has of SA and we have of ourselves. CNN have actually been told to focus on crime and if that doesn’t wake our politicians up and thereby help all of us who actually live here, what will? They don’t listen to any resident victim, but may not want to be embarrassed by potential business partners falling victim to their own incompetence!
That’s it, I am off to polish the Citi Golf, Hoover the million dollar home, check on my BEE tent pegs and ensure my tickets are safe under the bed, that’s actually a double bluff, I would never be that stupid to tell you where they are, they are really in my sock draw!
Thanks Mr Blatter you’re a smasher and come on Mr Zuma make 2010 a boomer for us all!